I had a dream

Dream about death [a real life story wrote in a more fiction like way]

"It's a dream so I'll wake up eventually."

I stare down at myself, and the “me” down there is staring back with an empty gaze. I see my mom, my dad, my grandparents... I see my friends... So distant, so fake... their tears fall down on my cold cheeks. So red, so lively they were once, curling in a smile those marble white cheeks. I flow down and see my mother crying... her state is the worst of them all. On her knees, insane with a crazy pained expression she denies it all. 

"Yes it’s a dream."

I see my dad holing my mom with a strong expression. His is the man... the pillar of support... and he is crumbling. His eyes betray him, showing his in pain. He kisses mom and tears form in his eyes. 

"A dream...?" 

I reach to hold them, tell them is ok, my hand slips through them and i look away. The shell that once hugged them, that was mean and cute just laid there silent and cold. It didn't care if mom was crying, if dad was sad... it stood there with a cold expression and  empty gaze. Selfish and cruel it didn't want to move... it didn't care to bring a smile anymore. 

"Is it really... a dream?"

My friends just stood there not believing... I never knew they cared... I look at them and see it... tomorrow will be the same. The sun won't stop appearing in the morning and the birds will sing, the moon will be the same as always and so will they. The ones that pain will learn to smile once more...and my memory... will be buried somewhere deep.

"is not a dream."

Cold and dark, a hole in the earth will be my resting place. The dirt is wet, this place smells... I don't want to be here yet. I look again and my body is in flames, is warm and bright, I like it. This is my way ... in ash I will remain as prove that I existed in smoke I will fly away as prove that I am free.

"I am alive."

I gasp and open my eyes, with tears in them I can see a blurry sky. I rub my eyes i take a deep breath and step back from the rooftop edge. I place my hand on my skin, i feel it, is warm. I sniff the air, I feel the breeze. I smile and turn back ... is not my time yet.

"I need to live."

A new day, a new beginning i would say.. I went down stairs my dad was missing… yes he was at work... i don't get to see him again. I look around and ask for mom but no one answered... at work as well. I sit down, eat... and wander. The day goes by with every hour... no friend has called today again... My mom is home i ran exited. She has no time again... i go to my room and wander ... when will my dad come back... how long will it be now, a month, a year? I sit alone and silent, again. 

"I hate to be alone."

If the days go by and nothing changes, if u feel alone and ignored, if your friends down call you... or if your depressed is your fault. For all u ppl that feel life isn't worth living YOUR WRONG. You look at the ppl around you, u feel they don't care! WRONG AGAIN. You might be surprised what ppl hide in their hearts but u can only find out if u put a lil effort in finding out... waiting never changed anything neither did dying. Throwing words around thinking you got the right to say anything cuz your more unfortunate then others is wrong. Being strong is not easy but admitting your weak is even harder so is asking for help. For all you ppl there with small life problems don't waste your life. Is surprising how the ppl with actual problems are never noticed and suffer in silence ... cuz they never ask for anything thinking they do not deserve it. I could go on like this forever... cuz I know many of them... and they smile and live, trying to get the best of everything and yet I see some brats that think just cuz their girlfriend left them they got to suicide. This is the last think i have to say:
NOTHING WILL CHANGE IF YOU DON'T CHANGE IT YOURSELF.I TRIED! IT WORKED! YOU TRY IT TOO! 
AND DON'T GIVE ME THE "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND." OR "THE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH WHAT I HAVE." 
I ONCE USED THOSE WORDS TOO AND THEY DIDN'T HELP ME. 
And you have no idea what I have been through and I am not going to start saying ....
if you want to drown in self pity be my guest, I said what I had to say
I need neither pity nor help...

I need friends~ [we all do]


dedicated to a stupid friend of mine "i love you, don't be lonely"hope he learns something from thisthe story is about me

[here is another story of such kind wrote by someone else]